Sunday, February 2, 2014

I had plans, Mom had different ones

I thought we had more time. Ha! Who am I? 
But I had plans. 
The first of many: super girl was going to redo Mom's family room. I was going to find places for most of the furniture in the room, then move some of her bedroom furniture downstairs. I wanted her to be able to sleep in her own bed. She loves her bedroom. And really, her bedroom is so pretty. Isn't it?
My brother called me yesterday morning. "I think you should come up". 
But I had plans.
I was going to come up on Sunday. I was going to take Mom to bingo. She was going to get a chance to see some nieces that she hadn't seen for awhile. And she loves people. I was going to show her some fun. 
On the way up to Mom's, I called some people to let them know more of what was going on. And then I did something - only God knows what - and the phone's screen went black. I couldn't get it to come on, charge, anything. I had more people to call. Get Ginna on a train, have her picked up and delivered to York.
I had to make plans.
When I got to the house, Mom was sitting up on the sofa. Her breathing was labored, even with the oxygen, and she was agitated. She couldn't acknowledge me. I sat down next to her and put my arm around her. She relaxed into my body. The hospice nurse had just given her a low dose of morphine and lorazepam. The hospital bed was on its way. 
But wait, I had plans. 
My cousin Patty was coming by on Monday. We were going to talk about Volume 2 of the Trulinos Family Cookbook. It had been discussed for so long, we were finally going to make it a reality. 
My mom made the first family cookbook. It was while she was still working. This was before computers were in widespread use. Wait, is that what BC means!? She asked all the relatives for recipes. But that meant hand copying all those cards for everyone. It was a lot of work! On her lunch hour Mom would type up the recipes that my brother and I gave her, as well as her sisters and nieces. She had it printed many times over, (there are a lot of us). Every morning before she went to work, she did 9 laps around the dining room table, collating her cookbook pages. In the evening after work, same routine. When mom presented her project to everyone at the next Trulinos Family Reunion, the family was astounded. Needless to say the cookbook is a staple in many of our households. We definitely need a Volume 2! And I had plans.
In the evening Ginna and I climbed into bed with mom and we made a Mommom sandwich. We snuggled her, petted her, talked to her and kissed her.
I had plans.
I was going to have my girlfriends to the house every other Saturday. Mom was going to hold court in the living room with the fireplace roaring, (after all Punxatawney Phil says we are going to have 6 more weeks of winter).
 We were all going to knit, crochet, have tea (ok, and maybe wine), talk, laugh and just have fun! When it got warmer we would do the same - on the screened in porch.
I had plans.
It's February 2nd. 54 years ago today, I was delivered into my mother's arms courtesy of Catholic Charities. I was born in December, 3 weeks premature. When I arrived at 320 Wynwood Road, I was 6 weeks old and weighed just over 4 pounds. My paternal grandfather took one look at me, then at his daughter in law and said "Ginny, she's not going to make it". That's exactly why Catholic Charities chose my mom. They knew she would take on the challenge, and succeed. My brother Matt is adopted too. My mom use to always called us 'her adopted darlings'. She would often recite to us:
"Not flesh of my flesh
Not bone of my bone
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute
You didn't grow under my heart
But in it".
Now her oxygen tank pulses and beats, in the living room, while she breathes. We give her morphine to keep her from being "air hungry", and the other drugs to keep the unexplained anxiety down.
But it's our special day, and I had plans.
I have now made many phone calls. Family and friends have started to visit. The neighbors came over with their little girls. Abby and Sarah love Ginny, and vice versa. Abby was concerned about seeing mom, but Sarah is still young enough not to know. She giggled and had her little bear give mom kisses.
Anne (mom's childhood friend/best girlhood pal) and her daughter Joanne were looking at pictures with us. We were reminiscing and laughing at Ginny and Anne's childhood antics. If you know Mom, you'll realize that she was the 'nix nux' or the mischievous one.
Nancy, her caregiver stopped by, we looked at more pictures and laughed some more.
Mom was in the room with us when our first daughter Ginna, was born. Because she was unable to have children, I wanted her to have a birth experience.
Ginna's midterms are this upcoming week, so she is working on projects that need to be submitted. I am getting ready to make dinner.
It is quiet now, and I have to make plans.

Until tomorrow,
Much love,

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